Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Its a comin’

This year, I am looking forward to Easter/Pasca almost as much as I did last year in some ways, more so in others, and less so in even others. I guess that's what one could call growth... Last year, I was a catacumen in the <a href="http://www.oca.org">OCA </a>attending a little <a href="http://www.oca.org/pages/directory/listing.asp?KEY=OCA-SO-NICSAC">mission church</a>. Which probably meant that I spent most of a year "not listening". I also spent several weeks in April in turmoil. I talked to a couple non-orthodox friends about my decision to become a member of the Orthodox Church. I had some specific concerns and felt that they could give good wisdom or at least a good perspective on what it was looking like. In the end, come Pasca I was chrismated, given the name Pe+er, and joined the church with my wife and three others. I decided to spend my first year as a "newly illumined" in observation. I have regularly attended the next catacumen class (and will probably regular attend the next one and the next one, etc), and have enjoyed picking up stuff that I missed the first time. This has allowed me to see the process from a different perspective. This has allowed me to see what kind of questions this group of seekers were asking the priest. This allowed me to see what kind of struggles this group of people were tring to get out of or get into or whatever. I've also spent the year making conscious observation of many of the tools that are available to Christians and in many ways are encouraged to be used by Orthodox. This includes things like prayer, fasting, alms giving, intentional community, communion, confession, serving others, making the sign of the cross, showing proper respect, reverence, worship, and adoration properly as it relates to people, icons, the cross, christ, eucharist, the faithful, the priesthood, the church, etc. Some of these - communion, intentional community, and prayer come readily to mind - I am a lot more comfortable with (read: used to them or used to doing them). Others - fasting, confession, and making the sign of the cross to name a few - have been more of an observation (read: not-used to them or used to doing them). They are, of course, tools. They are not your salvation, however, they are an integral part of it. This is analageous to taking a bath, brushing your teeth, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, etc. These are not needed for life to be sustained, however, each in their own way contribute to a "better" life. So, some of them I have been doing (or learning to do), others I have observed only, and others I have observed and done some. I think this is healthy and good. My plan for my second year is to take a couple tools that I have observed and do them some. Also, to take a couple of the tools that I have observed and partially done and do them more. All of this, of course, is between me, my priest, and my God. I am certainly not here to complain nor boast. However, it does present challenges. Growth, of any kind, means change. Anyway, one of the things I am looking forward to this year is the services themselves. Last year I was an active participant - going from catacumen to newly illumined. This year, I am watching the excitement grow, the sublte changes in the litergies, in the icons, in the location of "stuff" in the church and I see all the change. It reminds me of being out west and seeing the great dust flying... you know something's going on, something is moving, and it is headed toward you. You don't feel it - except maybe in your gut; you don't hear it - except as a low rumble if you listen closely as the litergy changes, as the songs change, as the prayers for the catacumen change; you don't see it - except by observing the effects and subtle changes that are going on as the physical side of worship changes, and the fasting and feasting change rolls. Anyway, I'm excited, I'm uncertain, and I'm working my way through it. Peace, David Pe+er